I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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