I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
