I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
