i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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