Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
