I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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