I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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