How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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