My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
