Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
