...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just want nice things and good sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
