you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
