That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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