To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize