I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
