your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize