Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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