just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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