I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My cat gives me a boner
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
