Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
