suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
