he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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