There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh god it's open bar.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
