kristin has been a bad kristin
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
