So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
