i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
