Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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