i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
