Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
