God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
