I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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