you guys were way drunker than both of me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
