Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
