Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
