if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
