i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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