did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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