You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
