She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
