dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize