His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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