the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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