The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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