I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I need to stop coming to work sober
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
