my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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