yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
