no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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