You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
