between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
