it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
