i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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