I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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