is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she told me i tasted like america
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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