I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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