guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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