dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
