"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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