Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
