im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
