you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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