seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
