listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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