He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
