im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
