When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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