He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
