An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize