Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
