im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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