Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
