She said her name was "party"
People in love make me want to vomit
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize