The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
