i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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