Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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