and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize